Celebrating Life

It's my paternal grandmother's 80th birthday today. Our family had a simple get together which made my granny happy. A pity that my father and uncle could no longer celebrate her birthday with us... she outlived them both.

I used to fear my Lola, but who wouldn't? All she had to do was raised her voice, thinned her lips, and open her eyes wide. She was the authority of the family. I had never seen my father and his four other siblings raised their voice to her. They respected her too much that she had the final say on everything.

Through the stories we often hear, my Lola was a doting mother. Whenever her children run into trouble, she was there to defend them be it their fault or not. I used to hear my Lola's bothers and sisters say she had spoiled her children too much. But who's to say what is right and wrong in upbringing your children? All I know is that my Lola was and is loved by her children as much as she loves them.

Now that she is not as strong physically and mentally as in her younger years, we are thanking our Creator for the chance He is giving us in spending our time with her. May she live to see her great grandchildren as they embark their journey in life.


Happy 80th Natal Day Lola! We love you. ^_^

SISTERS ACTS

Just got a call from my elder sister. She asked about our mother and youngest sister, how are they doing and where they are now.... that kind of stuff. It's been almost two years since we last seen her. She had taken a time off from work and took her husband (who's from Dipolog) and their two kids on vacation here for a month. We never really got along well with each other since we were young maybe because we didn't grew up together. My parents let our maternal grandmother took care of my elder sister, first because Granny was living alone and second one of our cousin (the same age as her) was in poor health and they thought it would help if there's someone our cousin can relate to and improve her condition which it did. At that time my sister was eight and I was five. We only see each other every summer during the school break and often times there always seems to be cats and dogs inside the house. She'd liked to tell me to do things which I would instantly opposed to do. Well could you blame me? I only see her during summer and she'd order me around... I hate it!!!!

She was the apple of the eye of the family since she's a consistent honor student. My parents and aunts, uncles, and grandparents were all proud of her.... who wouldn't be if every March medals were being brought home by her. One thing I can say about her is that she had ambition and the countless of admirers in school all go unnoticed. Other girls were busy getting the attention of their crushes and having boyfriends, but she was all focused in her studies (she's not the nerdy type mind you... she's full of life and fun to be with). It was not until she was working that she had one.

We also experienced hardship early in life. Most our relatives are well off except us... I think. It was because of this hardship that we had persevered to finish our studies to find a good job and support our needs in the future. While our cousins were enjoying themselves playing, my sisters and I were busy selling perishable goods to the neighborhood. At that time my father was diagnosed with diabetes and to help us get through school we have to work our way through college by being a working student assistants. I remembered that everytime my elder sister would laugh unstoppable days before the examination day the next was you would see her crying because she had no examination permit. Our mother hadn't enough money to pay for her fees so always it had been through guarantors and promisory notes that she get by the entire time she's been in college. Me? Well I've been fortunate that my fees were not as high as my sister was. Since I'm a student assistant, the employees of our school said I was diligent and hardworking and took a liking of me especially the Dean and the Head of the Accounting office... and so, it had been easier for me to ask personally that my permit be released even if I hadn't paid my balance yet.

To help my sister finish her studies, I stopped for a semester. I thought I wouldn't have the chance to get back to school but as fate has it... our Dean (who's a sweet lady from Bacolod) sent message for me to see her so we could talk about my returning to school and so I did. Where was my sister while I'd resumed my schooling? She was busy with her board review. If I was not mistaken, 2-3 days after her oath taking in November 1992, our father passed away during the early dawn and few hours later, our cousin who had grew up with my sister, had joined our father.

That's what college life was for the two of us.... full of worries, sufferings, and challenges. But our experiences early in life molded us into the person we are today.... it made us tough. It is our guide on how we want to live for today. We don't dwell on the past but sometimes we make fun of it by looking back and seeing what we've become.

I can honestly say I'm not rich and sometimes barely get by on our day to day needs but still, I'd love to help whenever and however I can. My sister on the other hand, well, she's living comfortably abroad but she's not the kind who'll lavish her siblings and parent with money and material things. It's fine with us though so long as she continue supporting to our mother with her needs. My younger sister and I are used to her, like when they came home the last time what she had given us were big Toblerones... one for me and one for 'lil sis... but helllooo!!!! She hadn't seen us for about five years and that's her gift to us. I mean, if i'm earning at least one fourth of her salary I'd definitely give something expensive to them. So what's my pet name for her? "TIKOY!"... hahaha. In fairness to her, there were rare times I never expected help from her but she did. She do wants to help us but maybe she's just afraid that if she help us constantly we will be dependent of her. Okey fine... Do it your way sis, we understand! .... charos... still wish she can be generous as what other elder sister is... hehehehe... well I'm a hypocrite if I say I don't like her to be that! hahahaha.

So still from young till now we live our own lives and do our own thing. We still fight though no longer physically but verbal. But the fact still remains that same blood is running in our veins. No matter how different we maybe, we still love each other though we are showing it in different ways. We are sisters and nothing can change that period!

Looking After You

I always feel nervous whenever my love ones are sick. I don’t know what to do, kinda helpless.

Last Sunday Bunso had fever. Had to stay awake all night just to get his fever down. Fortunately, he’s fine in the afternoon of the following day.

Yesterday, for the 2nd time, my heart sunk knowing Kuya’s running with fever. What’s upsetting in this situation is (not the thought of staying up all night looking after him) not knowing what his sickness really is.

It worries me too much whenever they have fever, especially now, because there is a dengue outbreak. How can I not worry? Dengue is caused by mosquito bites and there are so many mosquitoes in our area.

Now in this early hour, as I watch Kuya sleep, I’m praying that he gets better by the morning. I will be at peace if I see him up and about, walking around and laughing as he used to.

It’s my joy to see Kuya and Bunso in good health and shape. I’m happy when they are happy and sad when they are sad. I’ll shield them from harm in anyway I can. I’ll be their eyes when cannot see, their ears when they cannot hear, their voice when they cannot speak, their hands when they cannot write, their feet when they cannot walk. Until the time that they can be and do things on their own, I’ll be there for them. I’ll watch them grow until I can let them go.

Who Would Have Thought

When I was just a child, I used to get some good spanking from my parents. I really hated those times and wished to instantly grow up and leave home to live on my own. One of my sister got the brain, she’s a consistent honor student from the time she entered school till she finished. My other sister is a beauty. She’s morena and really has a beautiful smile. If my sisters got the beauty and brain, then what is left of me? Nothing? Hmmmm....I thought so too at that time. I talked back, quarrelled with my sibling, and reasoned out when being scolded. I am a no good daughter who turns out to be the blacksheep of the family.At 18, I hardly shed tears when my father was laid to rest. I don’t know why, but tears just won’t come out during that particular time when everybody else were crying and howling. A few years after that when I had finished my studies and started working that my grandma’s sister told me something I never would have expected to hear, not even in a million years. She said that my mother told her, of all her children I am the most loving, caring, and she envisioned will look after her when she gets old.(Gosh, my tears are now falling. Thinking of that moment always makes me cry, well wouldn’t you be?). I hated them for so long, thinking they don’t want and love me when in fact they do.
It’s true then that no matter how bad we let people perceive us, ur innate goodness will always show. Sometimes our judgement is clouded by jealousy and hatred that we can’t see clearly what is right in front of us. I have not told my Nanay and siblings how much they mean to me. When oneday they happen to see this blog, just wanted you guys to know that given a chance I’ll still choose you to be my family, I LOVE YOU and hope all the best for you!